Part of me wants that cupcake, but part of me doesn’t…
Have you ever heard yourself say something along those lines? If you have, you’ve unknowingly (and intuitively) supported the fundamental tenet of IFS (Internal Family Systems), a modality founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz: that we don’t have just one personality, one mind. We’re all multiple, meaning we have many different subpersonalities or "parts."
I know that may seem a little "out there" (or maybe it doesn't; some people resonate with this idea instantly), but it makes so much sense when you think about it. The idea of multiplicity explains why we have so many different thoughts and feelings about the same person, situation, event, etc: we literally have different parts to us that carry these varying thoughts and feelings.
We All Have Parts…
Parts are separate entities inside all of us that each have their own beliefs, feelings, and roles. Some of our parts carry heavy beliefs and emotions (in IFS, we call these "burdens") that have resulted from trauma and other difficult life experiences. These parts tend to be young parts who are truly hurting and who are "stuck in the past" where the damage was done.
We also have protector parts. Some of these parts are tasked with taking care of our younger, hurting parts, while others get us through the day. You have parts that know how to do your job, keep your house clean, play your favorite sport, and do your favorite word game (or maybe that’s just me). Some of your protector parts likely use food to make your young parts feel better. Some of them may also use dieting and restricting for the same purpose. The most important thing to remember is that these parts are trying to help you! All of your parts want what’s best for you. But sometimes, they don’t realize that what they’re doing isn’t actually helping.
One of the biggest goals of IFS is simply getting to know and understanding your parts. To help you do just that, I created some quick and easy cheat sheets. Grab yours below!